i don’t know

you shit on the brick

mortar is now a-plenty

live in a shit house

with result in mind

order those hot wings again

still, heat surprises 

You must eat the corn

You Turn your insides golden

Idk poo joke

gotta get this out

there is nothing but hot air

was it ever there

Anonymous asked:

Write me a haipoo.

I don’t do requests. Haipoos and stories are born from within, much like their subjects. They can’t be created with an external impetus. 

Anonymous asked:

What is the greatest number of flushes it has ever taken for you to exile a poo?


watch this video

music: classical

conductor of porcelain 

movements so epic

skid marks

slip slide down the chute

mark up the white porcelain 

what really gets stained

Anonymous asked:

What is your ideal porcelain throne?

I pooped in Vatican city once. It wasn’t especially nice or anything, but it was funny to me to know that I pooped at the center of Catholicism for the entire world. 

Anonymous asked:

who is your favorite person to talk poo?

You don’t just “talk poo.” Shit-talking with other people just seems silly to me. It’s like talking about your hair. It’s yours and you know it better than anyone else. There is a special bond that exists between the pooer and the poo and I think that when talking about poo a certain tendency arises to compare when really pooing isn’t about comparison. Sure, you can say that one turd was bigger than the other but that’s not what is important here. Every poo is special and none are better or worse than others. Just different.


big, small, in between

not the poo i desire

it’s the in between

Anonymous asked:

What is the meaning of life?

To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women.

aloeveralotion asked:


When was it ever not enchanted?